i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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