doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
