I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
ugly people sure do ruin things
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He passed out mid-signature
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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