Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
