I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
