You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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