i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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