If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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