If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Randomize