he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Houston, we have a squirter
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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