two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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