My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
