She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
