There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
my vag is so smooth its legendary
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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