Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
