would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
