U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
