I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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