so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
