he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
