just tell him i said nine months
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
