I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
