No awkward lesbian experiences without me
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
