Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
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