I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize