After last night, I could never be a politician.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
