take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
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