Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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