The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize