just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
She's just so happy...and so naked.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
