Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
