If that was your dad, he is hot
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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