Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
