I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Houston, we have a blender
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
