just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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