i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
