I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize