Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
