I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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