I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
