Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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