therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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