Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
