She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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