Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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