I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
