even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Its about making memories worth repressing
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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