"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
