So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
