i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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