id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
