you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
