his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
