dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
