She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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