Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
