Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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