I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
