You can't special order awesome
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize