Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Still dying that you shit outside
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
