I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize