I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Randomize
