My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
