never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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