do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
